Skyrim: How to play Skyrim like a Girl

Now, I’m not one to point at girls not being “real gamers” or definitely having a different play style than men, but there are certainly some differences that I’ve noticed between myself and my guy friends. In general, there are things the average girl will care about while the average guy doesn’t, and vice versa.

Skyrim in particular is a rather male dominated game.  Here are some simple steps to playing Skyrim like a girl!

1. Character creation. Spend at least one hour here. Every detail must be meticulously looked at, every option considered. And of course you have to be female.
2. Screw the main questline. You have better things to do, like buy a house and begin searching for a husband.
3. The Dark Brotherhood needs to be a top priority, because Shadowmere is so cute – you must have her!  Also, because she is immortal you don’t have to keep loading a save when your horse dies.  Because of course you have to load a save whenever your cute horse dies.
4. In addition to Shadowmere, begin quest to own a horse of every color. This is crucial.
5. Try to catch live butterflies.  Become sad that you can’t catch live butterflies.
6. Whenever stealing from a dungeon, house, etc., always steal shiny things first. Doesn’t matter if that huge rusty mace is worth a lot; that shiny little flawed ruby is what you need.
7. After acquiring wealth and riches, decorate your house and buy the fanciest clothes.
8. If someone has a nicer outfit than you, kill them.  Proceed to wear their outfit.
9. Always wear your prettiest clothes.  Armor quality is your second priority - first, you gotta look good.
10. While in a dungeon, just get what you need and get out.  It’s scary in there. 
11. Install lots of mods!

These are some differences I’ve noticed – namely things that I personally do when I play Skyrim.  I’ve been told that I’m frustrating to watch when I play, probably because I am often playing on the save where I allow cheats on the console.

That being said, I play Skyrim on the PC, and PC only!  It’s just way better, mostly because of mods!  Continuing from point number 11, here are some mods I suggest:

1. Convenient Horse Mod: Because your horses are important and this makes everything easier.  Features include: Horses and mounted combat followers, Horse Armor for both player and followers, Mounted combat horse charge, Mounted combat auto loot, Instant horse call with auto mounting, Horse whistle, Mounted conversations and corpse looting, Mounted herb harvesting, Fast dismounting with automatic combat weapon draw, Shared horse inventory with easy access, And more!
2. Blaze of Eventide: Because sometimes, you need a majestic fire horse.  Even glows at night, lighting up those scary dark forests!
3. Unicorn: Because Unicorns.  Need I say more?
4. Eat, Sleep, Drink, and Bathe: Because really, you can’t just continue on in the game never eating, never sleeping, and certainly never bathing!  Stop being so grungy.
5. Some sort of body replacer.  Some say these are only for dudes, but when I play Skyrim, I’d like to be sexy, thank you.  Also, sweet abs on the dudes is a great addition.
6. Some pet follower / companion.  You get lonely in Skyrim, and people are ugly and stupid!  Take a nice little sheep, dog, or bunny with you.  Bunnies are my personal favorite.

 

 

I hope you ladies got a few chuckles and nods of approval, and I hope you dudes can now add a touch of femininity to your Skyrim experience.